``Miss Delicate

2011-06-08T19:37:00.004+08:00

Hey there ! :3 It's been so long since I've blogged about everything. Man, I need to start writing =_=. This is all solely for me to look back into when I grow older hahaha! So I hope Blogger isn't shutting down in the years to come!

I read back some of my posts, and I reminded myself of soompi! Since the holidays just started, might as well start reading back those disgustingly good romance stories HAHA.

I figured that my vocabulary has decreased dramatically ever since I've entered Poly. When I tried to explain something, I just can't seem to recall the word. Miss Deborah Chai, I need you back as my English Teacher! xD Gosh. Even the names of the teachers who taught me in secondary school are disappearing bit by bit.

I still do remember Mrs Teo Hui Lin, my Literature teacher. Miss Shekhu is unforgettable. Oh dear...I seem to forget the full names of my Biology and Math Teacher. Dear me. Memory loss at such a young age. I hope I won't get to forget my friends any time soon. It scares me to think that my brain might just shut down and erase everything.

I had a recent quarrel with my close friend not so long ago. We rarely bicker. But the latest one was my fault. I got angry over a dumb Redondo biscuit stick. =_= Old habits of being-selfish-because -I'm-an-only-child die hard. Not like I can use that as an excuse for my overbearing personality.

I think I hit a nerve when I indirectly/directly accused him of bitch-talking behind my back because of this incident. I found myself unreasonable. He probably changed his thinking about me right about now. Haha.

Anyways, to update on what happened in my life.

I entered this 2XU Compression Run of 12km with Hanafy, Shafie, Alvin and Pravin. I was so damn proud of myself! My first marathon ever, and I'm happy with my results. :) My average timing was always 20mins around school, which is 3.4km.

I saved a screenie for it just to prove it :)

Now towards SP life...

Sharul left SP Gym to work elsewhere, which is very sad :( But I still do keep in contact with me via SMS and WhatsApp ^_^. He's doing fine, and I hope he comes back soon. Shah is still working there from time to time, but not as often. Two new gym instructors came to SP. One is a Ex-SP student, the other I'm not so sure, but he's very friendly.

His name was Ismail if I recalled correctly. He's like a brotherly figure over there. Sharul was my father figure, and Shah is like a playmate. xD I wonder if anyone is reading this.

I recently joined SP Dragonboat! At first I was invited by Esmonde to the camp. I entered the camp knowing that I won't want to join the sport, but things happen.

The company and vibe I received from the camp were just so energizing. I made new friends whom I don't want to lose. I kind of hesitated for some time, and decided that I would try the girls' first trainings.

That made it worse. I got so attached to the girls who joined, and of course some of the seniors who were so darn kind to us. And there are some seniors who are fierce like hell, but that's supposed to be the point haha.

Either way, I finished 3 weeks of training with SPDB, with a one month break to boot. That means self-training with my girls, and maybe with some of the guy juniors as well. I still have my Crazy Frog team in there! No one quitted from what I've heard. I'm so proud of all of you ^_^/.

And I'll be having a combined Teen Titan and Ultraman (my group) outing this coming Thursday. Ultra Titans Outing ! :) Hope I don't get too tanned at Sentosa!

Reminiscence

2011-01-11T18:55:00.007+08:00

Ah yes, before I forget. Due to my lack of writing and keeping track of the events in my life, this achievement almost slipped out of my mind.

I joined an online contest of my all-time favourite RPG arcade game Lunia :D
They wanted fan art of their game characters. To be honest, the submission I submitted was drawn months ago. And I was one of the winners ^_^

My first win in cyber history. I won a lvl 70 Libra Cash Item Set, but I sold it two weeks later. Anyways, here's a screen shot as well as a link "here" to the actual forum. This will surely bring back memories when I start retrospecting and find this blog again.

Also, I created a thread to showcast my drawings to fellow Lunians as well :D . Click here to see.

On a last note, hello to the older me :)

Treasure

2011-01-08T14:37:00.007+08:00

Learn to treasure what you have. Hold on to it, and never take it for granted, not even the littlest of things.

Taken from here.

Regret

2011-01-06T23:25:00.003+08:00

I've hurt someone I cared for yet again. He really meant no harm, but I was so particular with the way he phrased his words that it lit a spark in me. I wish I can be more understanding to him.
I really want to wish that he's the one for me, because he accepts my all, my everything. But I did not do the same to him.

If only I can accept the way you talk, the way your personality is so different from mine, and the way you love. Maybe I am still immature about all these. I wish that I can grow up to comprehend more, and pray that in the years to come, if fate doesn't forbid, that you'll be by my side until death do us part.

I actually wanted to make a blog post solely because I wish to remember this one manga that has touched my heart and made me cry on the spot. Guess I am too emotional with my past nowadays. In fact, I've been emotional ever since I received a special orange book, with precious thoughts written in it on my 18th birthday.

Oh, how much I cried on that day. I cried and cried as I turned every page, sitting at a corner in my bedroom toilet. I didn't get to finish reading the book. I am afraid to pick it up and read it again. I know that if I do, I would cry myself to sleep.

I hope that day will come when I get to know the full story; The full story of his heart, poured into that little orange book with meanings that only I can understand.

"Though all my words are fading, I'm begging you please don't go away. I'm softly saying sorry now."

-Carrie

Poly

2010-06-21T20:52:00.002+08:00

Assignments, assignments, assignments. The deadlines are closing in, I have avatar requests piling and left unattended in GaiaOnline, and I need to set my priorities right.

Of course school work is more important, but I'm disappointing my Gaia customers. Which totally sucks. They paid me in advance too (not real cash :D. i know, it's stupid).

Now that I joined Poly 50 and tried to gym with my classmate, Khidir, time's running out for me. But even so, I'm still having fun. It's only crunch time and deadlines that give me stress. Drawing classes is so fun to be in. 3D Fundamentals....man . I really need to work on that. I gave up on my Eiffel Tower and moved on to modeling an Audi car.

We had a school outing today! :D . TO THE ZOOOOOO. Got into groups of 4. Me, Hui Ting, So Nam and Hafiz. It was blazing hot. I got to stalk a stork, see a pony, touch a goat, eat kulit ayam, and be a portable cold storage for my teachers, class and course mates.

Who could resist my one box of strawberries ? ^-^ . I'm happy I went to this trip today. I got to know Vanessa better. She seemed pretty distant before, so it's good to know that she's opening herself up. I hope I can try to get to Jing Yue too.

I got to do a lot of sketches for my Drawing assignment! . 30 random sketches of anything around you. I think I did like 5-7 drawings today already. A very good start :D. The deadline's pretty far though. Like 31st August. 2 months and 10 days left xD .

DMIT club is going to have an Annual General Meeting (AGM) on 3rd June if I'm not wrong. I NEED TO SHOP FOR FORMAL WEAR. Like damn. This is killing me. Another stupid thing to add on to my to-do list.

3DF. I need to do it soon.

Soompi Best Stories

2010-05-23T15:47:00.006+08:00

My friend introduced me to this awesome fanfiction/novel site and she gave me some links to a few good, completed romance stories.

Oh gosh, they make my heart melt like ice in a barbeque pit. I would love to look back at this post and read them all over again when I come to forget about these stories. :D . I have quite a number of recommendations, but so far, these are the good ones.

(P.S you need to have an account to view it, so go register! you won't regret it, EVER. especially girls ♥)

A Year And A Day
Summary: Merci, being the only single woman in her family, is constantly stressed by her relatives to get a boyfriend. Trying to vent her stress, she carelessly called a private hotline and requested that she wanted to hire a husband. One week later, her husband knocked on her apartment door.

Covered In Shadows (sequel to A Year And A Day)
Summary: Kei is a IIA agent. He was in the middle of his mission when he found Aslynn and 'accidentally' took her hostage. Months later, he was saving her from a slave trader's hideout. And yet a few days later, she was his wife. Click to see how the story unravels in a very interesting twist.

Twisted Emotions (sequel to Covered In Shadows)
Summary: N/A. I didn't read it yet, but I bet it's going to be awesome.

Seriously, I summarise the stories as if I'm marketing a product. But it's all good. ♥

A must read ! ^0^

A series of events

2010-04-25T22:52:00.008+08:00

Well, what to say first? So many things had happened. I'll say them one by one, so this post will be quite long.

First of all, O levels. My mum accompanied me to school on the day of my O level results release date. She went up with me to take my results from my form teacher. To my absolute delight, I love what I saw on that slip of paper. My mum even let out a few tears. I know I didn't really put my all into this. Heck, I didn't even study for any of it, but I can say for sure: God blessed me.

This was my result:

English: B3
Art: B3
Combined Science(Chemistry/Biology): B3
Combined Humanities(Geography/Social Studies): B3
Maths: B4
Literature: B4
Chinese: C6

What more could I ask for? Truthfully, I prayed to God, saying things like 'I know I don't deserve it'. I feel as if those results weren't my own. It's just so surreal. But it is.
And after that, my mum and I did all those poly paperwork.

We visited SP openhouse one day. Mummy wanted to sign me up for a special talent thingy; It's to improve my chances of getting into the course I want. This funny scene happened.

Mum: I want to sign my daughter up for this special talent programme.
Counter Lady: Ok. Did your daughter win an award any individual competitions for the school?
Mum: No.
Counter Lady: Did she participate in any international competitions?
Mum: No.
Counter Lady: Did she win any awards or trophies in a national competiton?
Mum: No.
Counter Lady: Then I'm sorry, you cannot apply for the programme.
Mum: WHY? I believe my daughter is talented. What does winning any trophies or awards has got to do with my daughter's innate abilities? ......

A supermum. That's what my mum is. The counter lady was a bish right ? HAHAHAHA.

Anyways, on to no.2 .

I broke up with my ever first boyfriend exactly one week before Christmas (which is 18 December 2009). Our anniversary was on March 17, 2008. Yes, we've almost been together for 2 years. I was the one who initiated the breakup. Why? I got sick and tired of the monotonous feel in the relationship.

He is a guy who never dares to say anything and everything about him unless I force it out of him. He never initiates any conversation unless it's something scientific like what you see in a biology textbook. He may be smart, but not street smart. I'll give you an example.

He came to fetch me back home with my mother on my Graduation. When the taxi came, he opened the taxi door and went inside FIRST. My friends were around me. They knew he was my boyfriend. I was utterly embarrassed. UTTERLY. Call me sensitive, high-standard bitch, whatever. A guy who isn't a gentleman, I'm sorry but you won't survive long with me.

But nasty things aside, he did have some good points like coming to my house and travelling from west to east. He helped me study for my O levels too. Only for Science and Maths though.

On to the next one.

I went to the DMIT Freshman Orientation Camp! (FOC) :D . You have no idea how fun it was! My group was named 'Long John'. The members in it were : Hao Ming, Prescilla, Daniel (moo), Zhi En (boyboy), Shawn, Zhi Kang, Justin, Elaine, Shafikah, Syafiq, So Nam, Jing Yue and me :D.

Even though we weren't the best of teams, but we sticked together even after the camp :D . Well, most of us did. I was chosen as a best camper! Can you believe it ? x333 . I know my hyper starfish Xin Ying was a best camper too! .

When the official Freshman Orientation Programme (FOP) set up by the school, and every freshman of DMIT had to attend, the campers rocked it. Like seriously. Only the people who attended FOC got all excited and on the ball. I was called on stage too >;3 . That's how I got to know Kenny :3 .

We totally owned the challenge ! Woooo . I think we were both famous for our names after that. OHO . So thick skinned. Not a good thing.

I love Delconi's datou pictures :D.

Poly life is so fun at this point of time. I wish it could be like this forever. My classmates are awesome, my seniors are awesome. It's good to know that my persistence to get in to SP is a good struggle :D.

Edited: Oh, and in case I didn't get this through, KC choir had GOLD for the first time in history on my graduating year. How awesome is that :) . And I even took part in it.

I'm so proud to have taken part of choir SYF 3 times in my 5 year stay in KC.

Stress

2009-03-21T22:27:00.003+08:00

Ok, I'm not blogging enough D: . I got my reasons too . Now, I put my choir SYF at first priority, then my grandpa who is currently suffering from cancer in the hospital, then my studies, THEN my art .

Art is making my life lose its colour . I got an overbearing teacher, sad to say . He expects us to do more work, since it's a week holiday for us . Your big hairy fat ass . I'm sorry, but I had to use improper vocabulary for that . His target for us is to finish 6 thumbnails .

FYI: On average, the class has 10 sketches per person which we all took 2 months to compile . And in order to produce thumbnails, we need 30 sketches .

Don't you just hate these types of situations ? I have to go back to choir for 4 out of 7 days and still visit my grandpa almost everyday of the week. And sometimes I scare myself to death by being all alone at home . It's creepy . Wait until you hear noises, sets your goosebumps on fire .

But anyway, I'm not going to scare myself now . I'm alone at the moment . But yeah, I still have church to attend tomorrow and visit my grandpa . Woot . No time no art . I wonder if that is a good thing or a bad thing . I am SO going to get scolded by my teacher . When he scolds, it's scary . You can't help it but jump from your seat when he raises his voice . And he's not the reasonable type . I'm dead for sure . Visit me at my funeral . It'll be appreciated . <3 .

Before I go meet my doom in 48 hours, I want to post this . Matthew and I had our first year anniversary on March 17th . Sadly, it didn't feel like an anniversary . It was on a Tuesday . He had to stay in camp . I felt like I was the only one feeling serious about this . I was the first one to say 'Happy Valentines', and the first one now to say 'Happy Anniversary'. It just doesn't feel right . I had high hopes of commemorating my very first anniversary of my life with a physical memory like...let's say, an ornament .

Ok fine . Truthfully, I wanted a ring . Call me materialistic or whatever . I don't really care about anything right now . Maybe it's my fault for having such high hopes . I even dreamt about it . Talk about desperate . I just might be , only that I deny it . I guess there's nothing to remember about , since I didn't even celebrate an anniversary . So there's no need to have something to remind me of an anniversary.

....That sounds logical...right ?

Run .

2009-02-27T22:43:00.002+08:00

MUSCLE ACHE .

Oh the horror . I did my 2.4km run this morning . I was pretty proud of myself :3 . Improved since last year by 25 seconds ....or near there .... LET'S ROUND IT UP TO HALF A MINUTE WOOOT .

Yes, I improved that much . And I'm ecstatic . I got a time of 15 minutes and 44 seconds and I'm bloody determined to get a gold for my NAPFA . Don't ask me what does that stand for . I have no idea . It's just five letters typed together . And everyone uses it :3 . In Singapore, anyways . My incline pull ups are a wreck .

SO . I came back all hot and sweaty and I needed to use the PE shirt and shorts that I was wearing for PE for my choir outing after school . I 'laundried' my clothes at my chair ( I have two :D) and I sat at another person's chair HAHA . Just so that I don't get the stale sweat on my pinafore . How evil can I get ?

Choir outing was the BEST . We walked to East Coast Park and we ate our pre-ordered Macdonald student meal sets while taking in the fragrant smell of manure . You read that right . It stinks . Literally, but the outing was still the best . And I wasn't being sarcastic on the first sentence of the paragraph .

We played Amazing Race all over East Coast again . Just like what we did at the choir camp two years ago . It all seemed nostalgic . Only thing was that the conditions for the games were far worse that I imagined . We had to run all over . It was practically like another 2.4 . My team was the RED TEAM . THEY ROCK THE PARK MAN . We ran around united . There was this station where we had to do a bimbo cheer . It was recorded on camera HAHA . And I was the one leading the group for the cheer . That was just soooo fun :3 . I wish i could do it again .

So here's the catch: I told Matthew to meet me at my house at like...5:30pm ? And at that time, I WAS STILL IN THE PARK . Before that, I kinda called him two times to change the time abit . Like, he needs to wait for a while . And...he kinda got pissed . Had the heavy tone in his voice, which was kinda rare for me to hear that . Opps . I was kinda frantic at first, cause I couldn't leave the group alone, now that we have so much teamwork and togetherness . But still, I kinda put him as a priority . I hope they didn't hate me for this . I never got to know who won . I'll ask about it on Monday .

I got lost while getting out of East Coast to the main road , and because I'm in a hurry, I ran all around . Today was the first time that I've felt this feeling : like running was easy-going and not tiring at all . Maybe I used up all the lactic acid in my body hehe . Like that will happen . But yeah, I kinda enjoyed running for the first time, even though I'm sweaty all over. I don't mind the sweat :3 .

The main road could be seen, I got saved by a taxi which has a taxi driver who indirectly discrimates against females studying and that they are stupid ( he has an imbecilic aura around him .) . And I was on my way to home . He wasn't that angry when I met him , which was a relief .

And we lived happily ever after :) . Well, until the clock striked 10pm and he had to head for home . Oh well .

Nightmare

2009-02-23T16:25:00.003+08:00

The nightmare I had yesterday made me wake up in a very weird manner . I'll try to make it as interesting as I can o.o .

My dream started with where I actually am: on the bed with my dad on my left, and my mum on my right . Both of them told me to keep quiet as they sensed a 'monster' around . I could not sense anything and me having an i-want-super-powers unconscious mind, I wanted to know how .

They described to me how you would feel if you can sense it :

a floating feeling
an overpowering presence .
you would see two orbs of white flying side by side if the 'monster' is not hostile . If it is, it's red .

Apparently, the orbs are supposedly the 'monster''s eyes . There were some other descriptions, but I can't remember .

And then another scene appears . I experienced what my parents told me about; the floating feeling and the overpowering presence . I was hiding myself in the bed with my blanket from the white orbs . My parents were sleeping soundly at that point of time . Very soundly .

When the white orbs went away, a sigh of relief came out of my mouth . I freed my head from the blankets, only to see the figure of the 'monster', with red eyes glowering at me .

When it shined brightly, somehow I knew what it was going to do: Kill me and my parents .
The 'monster' has the ability to shoot out laser red thingy with
its eyes .
My mind was shocked, but my body went forward to quickly cover those red eyes while shouting and screaming, desperately telling my parents to wake up and run . The 'monster's face suddenly turned into a female's face .

My father moaned slightly, then went back to sleep again . My screams continued until I 'woke up' . My father was calling me and asking why was I screaming in my sleep . After hearing that, I blacked out and woke up in the real world .

I asked my father if he had heard me screaming in my sleep . He said no . I went back to sleep again, only to wake up at 6.30am, my legs moving as if I'm running away from something . When I tried to stop my legs from moving, it kicked a few times, then stopped .

What is the meaning of my dream ? .

This was what the 'monster' figure looks like: CLICK HERE

Bleach . >.> . Menos Grande . The idea is stupid, but if you see it in real life, it's not . And I don't mean cosplay real life . Those are fugly .

Cruelty

2009-02-17T15:17:00.004+08:00

I saw a little bird DROP DOWN FROM THE ROOF . It was still moving for about a few seconds, then it didn't move no more ;.; . Apparently, there was a nest on top of the MRT station sheltered thingy . Matt said that it wasn't healthy in some way, then the parents threw it down . How cruel is that ? . I kinda noticed that it had no eyes . Is it supposed to be like that ? . I know the young are blind, but they should have eyeballs right ? o.o .

Kinda seemed cruel, but if you think about it long term, the little baby would be suffering . D: .

nuuuuuuuu the baby .

Anyways . Pardon me if I say this but....HOLY CRAP . I have no idea if it's a trick or something, be it camera or voice editor or whatever things the softwares out there can do . True or false, this guy has talent in singing no doubt .

CLICK HERE

WAIT . This guy SINGS GIRL . It's confirmed . The first man alive to be that unique

another CLICK HERE

confusion

2009-02-15T23:18:00.000+08:00

....Would you crack a joke about your girlfriend being a slut ?

pride

2009-02-11T20:02:00.002+08:00

Pride is a very dangerous thing . I can say that I'm a very prideful person when it comes to certain things . Like today:

We altos had an audition for SYF ( Singapore Youth Festival ) , and we were called individually to stand up and sing . I'm the sort of person whose parents have never heard their daughter sing in front of them before . EVER .

Ok, that isn't the point . The point is... I'M A SENIOR . I DIDN'T PASS ON MY FIRST TRY . I squeaked . I had a headache . I was cold .

And worst of all, I'm making up all these crapped up excuses , which is supposedly true . That was the most embarrassing thing I've ever done . In choir . I realized that all my pride-stricken moments are ALL from choir , sad to say . I just feel ashamed of myself . Sorry, I'm a perfectionist who isn't but still persistently strives as one .

Having my pride smashed, I'm naturally in a bad mood . That means PMSing . My parents had to bring up a subject which they think that it was stupid of me to refuse; Matthew asked me out to a restaurant at the Singapore Flyer on Valentines' Day .

I refused it like : I'm not the type to dress up .
And my parents think I'm stupid to refuse that offer . And they say I'm a cheapskate .

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT ? I don't mind being together with someone I love . They say that "if you're going to be this cheapskate like asking him to save money, I tell you first, he won't spend a single dime on you in the long run." That made me think if i really want that, which I don't . They also say that Matt was the one who offered and I should be polite to accept it . But I don't want to dress up . I don't have any clothes to dress up .

Sometimes I wonder if I'm materialistic, or I'm slowly being moulded to be materialistic . I'm absolutely sure I did not have these kinds of material wants when I was young . This is just frustrating . It's not like I don't want to dress up . I really want to . BADLY . But that is the self-confidence that I don't have . I don't think I can appear sweet in a dress or look pretty wearing high heels .

Another pressure is that whatever I think that is very pretty to wear on girls, my mother thinks otherwise . This does NOT allow me to wear what I really want to wear . I gradually lose my confidence from there . I want to feel like a girl sometimes . And be treated like one . I feel like I have no respect from anyone . ANYONE . When i ask people to stop , they don't . When I say that I don't like it, they ignore .

Just what am I ? Someone who is supposed to grow up, study hard, get a good paying job and feed my parents ? Or am I just someone who is there to lend a shoulder ONLY when needed ? .

........I just want to disappear in my own world if this goes on .

A 'Normal' School Day .

2009-02-04T19:28:00.004+08:00

A normal school day to me is :

a drag .
a stressful load of homework and tests .
a 3 hour straight practice in choir after school on Wednesdays and Thursdays .

Hmm . Let's see what's fun today . Choir was surprisingly fun today :D . That's cos one of my singing buddies FINALLY came . We sang pop and rock songs during breaks and stole the piano to show off our out-of-the-galaxy skills . We sang out loud Pink's "So What" out loud . That's what we usually do . The juniors looked at us like they were watching an entertainment show D: . But's it's all good x3 . And we're one member short ! . :D .

And then comes Mr Liew . Our conductor . Scolded the Sopranos like crap today . We got delayed until 6.10pm and then, we were set free . AT LAST . <3 .

Tiring but fun . Matthew came to my house today . And he's still here . Well, not reading what I'm typing now . He's shitting >:D .

Oh Oh OHHH . Guess what happened yesterday :O . I got slapped by a shirt . Right on the FACE . It was quite painful actually >.> . It squeezed out some tears from me too . Matt was like, rolling the shirt up and 'piak-ing' it on the colossal pillow that I have in my room .

Unfortunately, that impact landed on my right jaw . Ouch . What I'm happy about is that he went over to me CONCERNED <3 . And saying sorry repeatedly . :33 . He cared sincerely for me for once . Clearly . He showed concern that gave me no doubt whatsoever that it may be a counterfeit .

I appreciated that a lot :3 . That shows that he has some emotion after all >:3 . Ohohohoho .

Anywaysssssssssssssssss . I have to go bathe . I'm a smelly pig now and everyone's chasing me to be spick and span .

toodles .

;-;

2009-02-02T20:58:00.000+08:00

I'm soooo worn out . I feel so tired after school, almost lethargic . I kinda think that the low sugar level is attacking me . Like I want to have another incident like that but it's just a gut feeling . I know I'll get it some time along my path of life .

My motivation in the subject 'Art' is fading; ok, that's not the word for it. My motivation is disintegrating in to small particles of dust . That is not a good sign . My 'O' levels are coming, and in a blink of an eye, i may get my result slip .

I am SOOO not going to see any U grades on that piece of paper . My other subjects are getting along....quite alright but then it's the CHINESE . My teacher gives me wayyy too much homework . She expects the whole class to memorize 30 cheena words in one day . Then on the next day she starts on a new chapter . Stress much .

Anyway, I'm going to sleep . I saw a video during Matthew's birthday at my house :3 . He watched it with me <3 . It's really funny, you should watch it too :D .

Click here .

I hope you would enjoy it :D .

Blessing .

2008-04-22T10:52:00.002+08:00

Truely, I feel that I've been blessed for upteen times, but I just don't really feel it so much . Haha , that's one of my flaws I guess . But God is trying to help me realise that one step at a time :D . Even though I am guilty of not coming to church for a few times nowadays, and I prayed for forgiveness that I didn't make it, He gave mercy to me . That's just way too sweet .

One blessing at a time; Those never-ending revelations . Now more than ever, I wish for Him to guide me in everything I do. And I know He's listening . <3 . Oh well . Once a kid, always a kid .

TIME to get crazy .

wootwootwootwootwootwootwootwootwootwootwootwootwootwootwootwootwootwoot .
meowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeow .

OOOOO guess wad ? :D .

MATTHEW HELPED ME PASS MY BIO .

tnx :D .

the horror of ugly .

2008-04-16T16:39:00.000+08:00

THE HORROR . the horror . the horror .

it's just irritating . i swear . i hear ugly words . i feel ugly with them around . i see ugly when i see them .
it's not the dictionary type of ugly . it's MY type of ugly :D . guess guess guess . that's my school life . but either way x)) . since i randomly thought about ugly , i searched out a poem . hohoho .

Ugly Couple

Mister Horrible Head and Miss Ugliness Face
are the ugliest couple alive.
Yes indeed they're so ugly that people run screaming
whenever they see them arrive.

You might say they're misshapen, repulsive and vile,
or cadaverous, gruesome and gross.
Maybe hideous, grisly, repellent and shocking,
disgusting, unpleasant, morose.

You can call them unsightly, or horrid or scary,
or monstrous or frightful or bad.
You can call them whatever you like, but to me
they will always be called "Mom and Dad."

sweet right ? D: . fuzzy feelings coming out . bahh . im still having happy times right now :3 .

.... we can have a sleepover right about now .

AAHHHHHH long pte ltd .

2008-02-11T15:59:00.000+08:00

MOVIES MOVIES AND MORE MOVIEESSS <33

you have just got to love them. Sometimes they bring you to lala land .

GO WATCH CLOVERFIELD . I GURANTEE IT'S AWESOME . Even though it's not showing anymore, just go buy the disc .
don't come complaining to me that I recommended you though .
;P

hmm , ah long pte ltd was funny xD . don't believe those people when they say it's not nice . their minds aren't mature enough ;x LOL .

but that doesn't really mean I'm mature too :D but i know mature jokes pretty well .
g-greatly influenced by my one-week job attachment from school .

Daddy has been protecting and helping me in various ways nowadays . And I'm grateful for that . I really needed time ever since I dropped my a math and joined art >_<'' He postponed our church chorale practice just a few hours before it . Wen Xin reported sick .

LOL . I have no idea whether I should rejoice or not . xDD . Well, it's alright . Brothers and Sisters go through hardships together .

At the next chorale practice , Wen Xin spread her cough to me . And some others . And we all fell sick . Unity of sickness .

<3 .

OK, I'M LOSING MY TIME . i still have 16 more drawings to draw DD: .

my art teacher is a devil . trust me on this .

CYAA ALL <333 .

lets get serious .

2008-01-14T16:34:00.000+08:00

yepp . lets get serious . wad happened nwadays ?

well .. I HAD SLEEPOVER 2 TIMES IN A ROW . ;D . every sat . i mean .

the 1st one christopher, yuki, ivan , matthew and gordon came :DD . but chris cant sleepover =/ . awwww . it's ok . moppie's your substitute .

p.s . yuki keeps molesting it . . hide yourself when you see him . ^_^ .

matt n i kept on playing de tickling and disturbing-each-other game :DDDD . even tho i tink it was short, it was fun . YAY .

the 2nd oneeeeee ....

only yuki gordon and ivan . =/ . and SOMEONE said dey had 2 study for tests . T-T'' . bt went out playing instead LOL .

ANYWAYS .

ivan n i were left at my home alone tgt when my parents went 2 pick yuki n gordon up .

WE WERE PSP CHIONGING . WOOOTTTTTT . THE MADDNESS .

I WANA DO IT AGAIN !! ;D

and the most important thing ............

I WON IVAN IN BATHNG . HAH . I DIDN'T CHEAT .

girls can bathe faster den guys after all ;x .

MUAHA .

ok i wun tease no more . ;x . lol .

hmmm . oh yea . another thing i wana note .

hu wana sleepover ? :DDDDDD . IM STILL ANTICIPATING FUN IN MY HOUSE XD .

it's been a looong time since ive had a sleepover. and im addicted to it .

SO GIMME A COMMENT ;D .

loveyou all ~ .

ah tai ..:D

2007-12-12T22:27:00.000+08:00

I think...I'm getting emo ...and slow again . It's really hard to explain this though . Even after my great grandmother's death, even after those short times of crying over her, my heart still can't get over it .

I just drew a random picture of a little girl looking as if she's crying tears of joy and it just struck me . The dream that i had just yesterday . The only thing I remembered was that ... I went to the past, and tried to nurse my great grandmother to good health so that she wouldn't leave us . My last glimpse of the dream was only her smile .

Why would I get this kind of dream right now , and not that few months ago ? . I'm just stating the obvious though . I know I'm acting really weak right now but I just can't seem to get over it .

Maybe this is a gift ... A gift in return . Just last Friday, I've got my ever first pay of my very first job in my entire life . Even if it was only $100, that was the first time I've spent on my great grandmother - even if it was only just $20 .

My first $20 went to the her . That just snapped me out of it . My first gift to her and she's not even there to say a word of 'thank you'. Just a smile from my dream .

...that was just enough to make me cry .

a VERY tiring day .

2007-11-15T19:52:00.000+08:00

weeeess . muahaha . i tink i've gone mad . shud i talk in proper english ? i tink i shud .

...AHEM .

Ok . What happened 2 days ago (13 Nov, tuesday for people who doesn't know how to count :D) was something that I wanted to go through again and...not to go through again .

I sat at my school foyer on a rolly-chair ( thank goodness ) with a table, from 8am to 5pm ( 9 hours for people who doesn't know how to count; again ! :D see how kind I am- ok, back to topic . )

I applied myself to elective art; it's a the same thing as Art, the subject but I have to do it after my co-curriculum . The (oh-so-terrifying-ex-commando-in-the-army-who-recently-joined-my-school-but-was-later-exposed-that-he-was-just-an-engineer-working-for-the-army) art teacher gave me this exam. To sit in the foyer. For 9 hours. To do this art project that was supposed to be done in 3 weeks . But I have to do it in that pathetic 9 hours .

Oh well, I can't really complain though . To say the truth, I really enjoyed those hours . Except in the morning when a bunch of prefects sat infront of me and chatted real loudly and talked across the foyer to another friend of theirs . Some beautiful prefects the teachers chose . I can never understand them . They and their early morning cheenaa drama serials . Urgh .

I prayed the day before the exam though . ^_^ God gave me the chance that I really wanted . To pursue the path of the ART . weeee . Ok, not so very english . ...

AHEM .

But anyways , it was hard work x.x'' I had to do like 20+ sketches of the stimuli that I chose; psychedelic . After that, I did 4 thumbnails of different paintings . And I did my final piece . All in 9 hours . My heart was very relieved when I finally finished it . But the day isnt over YET ! .

I was invited to join the choir by my dear friend Matthew ^_~ . <<<-- note: it's a two face face . not a smile and a wink . :D . But don't think of this as a negative comment . Read on ^-^ .

I've always thought the choir members to be scarier o.O . In a way that they sound so 'pro' until I feel very inferior . xD .

When I first entered the church, I heard Norman singing the song 'Once Again'. It gives me the goosebumps . I'm serious . And it had a nice feeling to it too . Surprisingly, I went to the sopranos . Applause please ! xD . Muahaha . God gave me another chance that I always wanted . :)

Now I'm just asking God to create a miracle in my mum =/ . She joined me in the audition for the choir . She's in the alto . But the thing is, she told me that she couldn't catch up and that she wanted to quit . Please pray for this :D . She was a choir member when she was young too ! . And she won the 2st prize in a contest ~-~ woot . power .

In the end , I find the church choir very relaxing and friendly xD . So don't angry Matthew :D . I'm grateful to you that you invited me to the choir ^-^. Actually another person invited me to the chorale but he didn't show up . So much for inviting me T 3T . LOL . Hope his life goes well o.O''

RAWR . This the last update . Until I have something to talk about :D . NIGHT . Piles of homework await me just behind me . My bed . Stacked with them . =/ .

pulau ubin biking WOOT .

2007-10-20T16:47:00.000+08:00

this ... was what i was looking forward to for de past TWO weeks !! . WOOT . PULAU UBINNN YAYYY . it was uber fun . seriously . the 1st thing dat i saw when i went out of the house . a black sky . ~woahh . =-='' and my dad says that it'll probably rain . o.O . good observing skills .

anyway, it did rain . heavily . because of my current cough and sore throat, the cold wind isnt really good 4 me T-T. strange thing is, by instinct, i closed my eyes and prayed that the rain would stop xP . i just felt the need to =/ .

my mum stayed at home , and my dad was bringing me to church :DD yay . lucky xD . we stopped at the carpark just beside the church and went 2 de market 2 eat :DD . that's right ... THE FAMOUS CHICKEN WING STALL . ~raise your hands to your cheeks everyone ! . O-o

prawn noodles . oooo . hw long have i nt eaten dat xD . who noes .

the church . filled with people with 3/4 pants n shorts . gladys n i were de only ones wearing track pants . YAY . im nt alone . GLADYS IS BY MY SIDE . ok ... nt by my side bt , she's on my side :DD . mmm . we went up the bus dats gona take us 2 ubin .
the 1st step i took on the bus = shiver n have goosebumps . i sat with this girl hu took photography as a poly sub . i tink x.x'' . im still dying 2 noe her name tho xD . she's zhen wei's sis :D .

we talked last time after the amazing race . she was really sweet ^-^ . i was grouped wif my twin sister's grp :DD . CARINE . and stacy and stacia and trina and tracy and felicia and..... some people dat i 4gt >_< '' short term memory ~-~ cant blame me TT-TT . ppl say dat de sea is smelly . i dun smell anything .____. mayb im having a flu nw =-= .

we reached de island , we got our bikes . AND WE'RE OFF . to three different directions . =-=

ok, the whole thing's a boring thing 2 tell unless u go and experience it wif urself . my lunch was only a coconut :DD .

at the end of the day, all of us were tired and had a big smile on our faces . OBVIOUSLY its fun rite xD MUAHAHAA .

i tink dere's a lot of injuries =-= MATTHEW . the record breaker of having his neck, hands and knee scrapped by the rocky sharp rocks on the steep slopes :D .

in my case, when i tell u , u tink i am a stupid person ~_~ . well , i was having fun cycling thru de long long steep slope . and i was going VERY VERY fast . n at de end, dere's a slightly sharp turn 2 de right . and i didnt make it .

i ended up wif 16 cuts on my knee (i counted . ) and 6 blue blacks . and my track pants tore . aww .

RAWR . dats all i gota say . xD ive gt alot of things 2 do dis holiday . too much dat i cant even relax now x.x''

oh well . CYAA ;D . i'm end dis . dis post . nt ending my life . ~-~''

a dream .

2007-10-09T09:40:00.000+08:00

haha . just woke up xD normally i wont realli post something after being this sleepy but... ive got something to say .

do you believe that dreams are somewhat like visions or facts ? even if it repeats demselves ?

i have no definite answer dat it's true but ... i kinda believe it .

i dreamt this long time ago; i was walking on a small staircase, with beautiful designs that resembles youth . mostly like some of those checkered ones . den my dream ended .

but yesterday, i dreamt of almost the whole thing . i think x.x''

the first thing dat happened in my dream was meeting this man; long white hair, dressed in somewhat a yukata... but it isnt . his clothings can tell you straight that he is somewhat of royalty . he held out a hand to me , and i took it . it was snowing by the way .

then, he began to fly me to alot of places . (( note: we're already in mid-air x.x''))

he flew me to a place that is deeply covered with snow . the snow was shining . very beautiful TT-TT . after that, we went to a waterfall that's still running ! . usually in winter you don't see waterfalls . dey're frozen . i guess . idk . leave that fact to the landscape pro ppl . that person who was flying with me said finally spoke, saying 'ice cave' . xD

then when i realised it, there was a cave behind that waterfall o.O . we went through the waterfall and went into the cave . i closed my eyes at that time . but when i went into the cave, the whole scenary changed . it wasnt an ice cave . it was a very big house . with the staircase in my long-ago dream . we went up the staircase; now it's full of toys around it xD .

after that, we reached a door . when i opened it , i saw a very typical but beautiful scene xD . the skies were blue with puffy clouds and the grass so so green . and i tink i saw something shining from afar . i have no idea what's that though .

after that everything went blurr , and i was with this guy called ya-something-jin . o.O'' he was fighting with the man that i was having fun with just a minute ago ! T-T .the scary thing is, the ya-something-jin guy was trying to protect me from him =-='' and he has this invisible twin of him; idk yy i can see it but it's like a zombie o.O black skin and torn apart clothes .

my body suddenly moved and tried to jump down. ((note: we were on a roof while the white-haired man was still flying ))

the thing is...the white-haired man became an eagle and flew me back up o.O . 'saving' me , in a way, from that zombified guy there =-='' , he flew me back to the place where i started ; the place full of shining snow. then we went all over again, seeing the waterfall, going through the ice cave etc . we were smiling all the way ; especially when the cold wind of the snow breezed through us . when we reached the house , he said : 'my mouth is stiff.' LOL . i couldnt expect that answer out of him . i replied saying '-of smiling .'

after that, i was living in that big house . and i helped out with things like; putting the toys around the staircase properly; cleaning x.x'' but it was a joyful thing .

strangely, dey had an electrical shop of somewhat like that in that house =-='' something like those white white rooms with washing machiens and other utensils . i saw a product drop out of the shelf . i have no idea why but when i saw the place where it dropped out, which was in the middle of this package , it was my enemy's belonging . as in my school enemy . but then, i helped putting my enemy's belonging back .

when i was thinking about this one thought, i left my dream . what was the thought about ? '' is that white-haired man God ?'' xD haha . laugh if you want to , but i have that kind of premonition . it was as if He was showing me His kingdom .

and i cannot explain that 'love' kind of feeling whenever i'm around him . it's more like a fatherly love, a very close one .

i have no idea what comments i'll have =-='' but yea, that's what i tink . even if it wasnt true, i tink it was a very beautiful dream .

amazing race orchard on 14th sept 07 . :D

2007-09-21T18:56:00.000+08:00

RAWRRRRRR .

been a looong time since i blogged muahaha . does ppl like 2 read my thoughts so much ? ;/ im still losing the motivation 2 blog xD . boring TT-TT

ohh yeaaa . i wana blog abt de amazing race a week ago xDDD

ON THE 4TH OF SEPTEMBER 2007 ; i went crazy in my mind body and soul . WOOOTTT .

the ending line is dat its fun larhs .

hmm . we came to de church at 7:30 plus barhs x.x'' we watched this bible movie dats onli 15 mins . EACH . dere's 4 movies altogether :DD

i really loved those movies though ;x . inspires me a lot . the thing dat i was shocked abt was ...

i asked God abt things like : is there any reassurance that i am walking the right path ? is God even in my life ? is there proof ?

i dun reali noe yy bt these questions kip popping up in my mind . especially this sentence : God forgives your every mistake and gives you a chance, but if you do it too many times, he will give up on you . it might nt realy sound correct bt ...dats wad i remembered . learnt dat in confirmation class ~-~ . ohh wells .

well, i find dat God gave me those answers straight in my face . those movies are my answers :D . although it's a little hazy but , nonetheless, its a sign xD . TY DADDY ~~ <33 .

weeeeee .

anyways , after the movies , WE WERE REGROUPED . WOOT .

im in gladys' grp xDD . and.. 2 other bb boys ....uhh wad was deir names again....chuan huat and...uhhh ... i onli rmbr him by his nickname ...AH PEK . WOOT . DEY ROCK MAN .

never was reali close 2 bb boys . though dey're scary TT-TT . but nw i treat dem as if deyre my brothers 4 life xD . another 2 bb boys i knew was...uhmm x.x''

jackie and ............short term memory larhs . cnnt rmbr x.x ohh well . when i rmbr den i put a note at de end of the post .

in the end , our team A lost . TO CHRISTOPHER . dat orchard know-it-all T-T . UNFAIR RAWRRRR .

ANYWAYS . im done 4 2dae . chatted too much . muaha . CYAAA .

voodoo . o.O

2007-09-07T20:11:00.000+08:00

hmmm . what to write today . OH YEAAH . i've heard of this neat thing that people used to do in the past . it sounds kinda freaky actually . more like scary =-=''
ohh well , here's the gist of it .

there was actually this ritual called 'kodoku' in japanese . in this ritual, their normal supplies are insects . lo and behold . off all things , INSECTS .

anyways , the caster; the person who started the ritual will gather alot of insects like .... centipedes, ants, cockroaches etc and put them all in to a jar . then, you dig a hole in the ground and put the jar in it .

leave it there for like 3 months and then you dig it up again . you'll only see a single insect left. that is the result of kodoku.

why is there only one insect left ? common knowledge. the insects can not survive without food for three whole months. that's why they devour each other, with only the strongest alive. quite a cruel technique don't you think ? even if it's insects, it's tragic =-=''

with that only insect left alive, the owner will be rich with the insect's 'wealth' but in return he must feed it. with human flesh. if the owner is to obsessed with his riches and neglects that particular insect, the insect devours its owner. creepy eh ?\

the owner can also use this insect to kill the person that he hates the most . a perfect murder weapon . how does he kill? most of the cases , the owner will deliver an unknown package full of money to the person he despise. he will then hide the insect within the package, of course, not feeding it at all. so, when the person gets the package, he will celebrate with his sudden strike of luck, but in the end, he will be killed. by an insect.

who knows ? this might be the reason to all of the mystery murders that were shown on television a few years back .

but if you wana know what i think....IT'S WAYYY TOO CREEPY T-T . but truthfully, i wass quite facinated with this story . but i would never ponder on this in the future .

>-<'' this is a very rarely used voodoo trick in the olden ages and is probably gone today .

SO DON'T DO THIS AT HOME KIDS ;DD

celebration of tears .

2007-08-28T13:05:00.000+08:00

If you really wanted to know what happened, please. Read this post.

On August 27 2007, I awoke, alone, with dreamy eyes ; the sad appearance of the long lost tears at night . It was my father's birthday. On August 27. Just soon after, I've got a call from my mother. She told me to get dressed and come down. She's waiting for us. Patiently.

...

I went down with proper attire and we set off to our desired destination. We all had a solemn look on our faces as we saw the banner ; Changi General Hospital. She's waiting for us. Still. It was about 11am then, when we went up to see her, my mother's side of the family gathering around the bed.

...

My mother and I rushed to the side of her bed, holding her hands, transparent beads dropping from our eyes and landing on the soft blanket that covered her frail old body. My great grandmother lied there, trying her best to keep herself breathing, alive. On August 27 2007.

...

On August 26 2007, my family and I visited my great grandmother. I knew that my family wanted to bring her to the hospital, even though she said she didn't want to go and wished to stay home. On that day, my aunt, her daughther, lied. She told her that we would go out and have lunch. Together.

...

I was hurt. Why. I asked myself. She always wanted to go out with her family. Now she was prompted to go out, just as she always wished it would. For me, I felt that she was happy when she heard that sentence. I was not allowed to go with her. Before they set off, I knocked on the window of my father's car, calling my great grandmother. She turned around and gave me a slight smile, waving her hand at me. I was crying inside my heart. Invisible tears formed inside of me. She looked happy. But then, I knew that she would be taken to the hospital and all of her hopes. Shattered.

...

On August 26, I was heart-broken. At night, when I went to visit her, I found her lying, on the bed, at the edge of the room, unconscious. My mother told me; When we reached the hospital, she had a sad look on her face. She could barely walk. The doctor examined and did tests on her. She was being injected with plenty of needles. Needles that hurt most painfully at the most sensitive of body parts. Why? My great grandmother was already 92. Why must she go through all of these sufferings? Her hopes of happiness, with just a gesture, became needles of pain.

...

She was like a dead vegetable on the bed. On August 27, a priest came. He prayed for her, hoping that she would hear him and told her to not be afraid. 'If you were ever afraid, call upon Jesus to calm you down.'

While he was praying, I examined her face features. Her cheek bone was twitching. She was smiling. No one noticed that. But me. I slept beside her after telling her that I was there, beside her.

...

I was the only great grandchild that she loved most. She smiled the most when I took a picture with her. She cared for me the most whenever I feel bored or sad. She loved me with all my heart. After a few more years, I grew up. I began to become distant towards her. It became that way until, I ignored her. I still answered what she questioned me, but I was not at her side. Any more. I always went upstairs to play the computer. Even with her incapability of climbing the stairs, she tried her best to go up the stairs. Because she was worried for me.

How could I be such a monster? Until now then I realised that. I was a heartless being, not worthy of her love at all.

...

When I woke up, it was 3pm. My mother asked me if I wanted to go back home and rest. I went up to her and told her that I would be going back home, with my mother taking care of her. She made a sound, a sign, telling me that she heard what I just said. I went back home, hoping that if anything happened, my mother would call me and I would be at her side, until she departed. On August 27 2007 at 3:57 pm, by the time I came back home, my great grandmother passed away. Think of it as a retribution of my cold attitude towards her that I was not with her at the end of her road but I know that she still loved me. Forever.

I know that people will be seperated from us one day but we will always be reunited, when we enter to the gates of heaven.

From this I ask of Jesus Christ, bless my great grandmother and keep her safe in your arms. Keep her forever smiling, in the depths of our hearts.

Amen.

I end this story, with a Happy Birthday to my father and a Goodbye, to my great grandmother.